Workplace sexual harassment isn’t always overt or easy to identify. It extends beyond clear, inappropriate actions and can take more subtle forms, such as workplace grooming. Grooming is a manipulative process where a perpetrator gradually gains a victim’s trust to create a power imbalance. When this behavior happens in a workplace setting or between two coworkers, it can be considered workplace grooming. By eroding boundaries over time, the groomer tries to exploit the target in ways that are and are not related to their work, and, in many cases, it gradually turns into truly harmful sexual harassment.
Can Anyone Be Harmed by Workplace Grooming?
Oftentimes, workplace grooming is carried out by someone who has authority over another worker. For example, a manager might attempt to groom a newly hired employee in an entry-level position. However, an inherent power dynamic is not necessary for workplace grooming to occur. Any worker can attempt to groom any other worker, so don’t assume that you haven’t been the victim of workplace grooming just because you hold a higher position in the company than the person who has been sexually harassing you.
Typical Behaviors of Workplace Grooming
Workplace grooming often includes subtle tactics meant to manipulate and control, such as:
- Excessive compliments: Perpetrators might shower their target with flattery, making comments that seem overly personal, inappropriate, or out of place. While compliments can appear harmless initially, they can be used to intentionally yet secretly create discomfort or signal an ulterior motive.
- Boundary testing: Groomers frequently push boundaries to gauge how the victim reacts. Boundary testing can involve physical encroachment, inappropriate remarks, or actions that blur professional norms.
- Gift-giving: Offering gifts, particularly unsolicited ones, is another way perpetrators establish control. A gift may seem generous but can carry an underlying expectation, creating a sense of obligation or indebtedness.
- Isolating the victim: Workplace grooming often includes efforts to isolate the target, such as discouraging relationships with coworkers or monopolizing their time. This isolation further solidifies the predator’s control.
- Making inappropriate jokes: Perpetrators might normalize bad behavior through improper or offensive humor. “Funny” comments are frequently disguised as harmless “banter,” making it harder for the victim to call them out.
While any one of these actions might not seem alarming on its own, they often form a pattern meant to gradually erode the victim’s boundaries. Such suspicious and potentially upsetting behaviors should never be dismissed as simply being “friendly” or “joking,” especially by management who are responsible for the well-being of their staff.
Stages of Workplace Grooming
The process of workplace grooming can usually be divided into three stages:
- Stage 1 – Trust-Building: At this stage, the perpetrator establishes rapport with the victim, which might involve offering advice, sharing personal stories, or engaging in frequent friendly interactions. The goal is to create trust, making the victim more receptive to future actions. While the behavior may appear well-meaning, patterns like excessive attention or oversharing can be red flags.
- Stage 2 – Boundary Pushing: Once trust is established, the groomer begins testing and crossing boundaries, such as making inappropriate comments, standing closer and closer, or attempting to blur professional lines. The escalation is usually gradual, making the behavior harder to notice until it becomes overtly problematic.
- Stage 3 – Coercion and Sexual Harassment: At the final stage, the perpetrator leverages the trust and control they’ve built to coerce or pressure the victim into situations of discomfort or vulnerability. This stage often includes outright sexual harassment or abuse, such as offering “quid pro quo” deals involving sexual favors. Victims may feel trapped, fearing retaliation or discreditation if they resist or speak out.
How You Can Protect Yourself from Workplace Grooming
If you believe you are being groomed at work, you can try to protect yourself and your rights as a worker by:
- Maintaining boundaries: Be clear and firm about your professional limits if someone’s behavior feels inappropriate.
- Documenting incidents: Keep a record of troubling interactions, including dates, times, and specific behaviors. This documentation can serve as evidence if you decide to report the behavior.
- Speaking out: Address behaviors directly, if safe to do so, or file a formal complaint. Harassment thrives in silence, and speaking up is the first step in addressing the issue.
- Seeking support: Talk to an employment law attorney or sexual harassment lawyer about what you’re experiencing to see what legal action you can take to handle the problem.
Workplace Grooming Isn’t Just Wrong, It’s Unlawful
Workplace grooming is not just unethical; it can also violate laws protecting employees from harassment. Under New York law, for example, sexual harassment is prohibited in all workplaces, and grooming behaviors can be enough to create a “hostile work environment.” When this happens, the victim should feel encouraged to seek legal remedies, which could include penalties being enacted against the groomer and the employer that failed to prevent them from sexually harassing others.
We Fight to Protect Workers from Discrimination & Harassment
At Phillips & Associates, PLLC, our New York sexual harassment attorneys are committed to protecting the rights of workers who experience workplace grooming, sexual harassment, or other forms of abuse. Our experienced team provides personalized guidance to clients who need help more than ever. Let us explain your legal options if you have been sexually harassed or groomed at work, so you can take the first steps toward justice.
Get Phillips & Associates, PLLC on the phone now. Call (866) 229-9441 or use an online contact form.